The Importance of Building a Solid Foundation for Our Children

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Parenting is more than about providing shelter,food and everyday necessities. It is inevitable to also provide safety, educate, discipline, give unconditional and tough love, and more importantly establish a consistent method to form concrete structure.

As a parent it is my job to set ground rules for my sons, teach them morals and values, motivate and support their aspirations, and fill their heads up with the common knowledge they need for daily living. It is also my job to mold them and guide them in a positive direction.

Here's how i built a solid foundation for my two sons. With my oldest son being 13 and my youngest being almost 12, I have done an excellent job I must say-as a single parent.

* Everyday my sons have a steady routine to follow. They are not grown, they do not make adult decisions, I am the parent: therefore, they have to abide by my rules. Being disobedient is a cause for discipline, but not always corporal. Taking special interest and privileges away seems to be more hurtful. But the key is to teach them a lesson and to let them know what they have done was not acceptable and there's consequences when they decide to be defiant However, no child is perfect, and there's a difference between being disobedient and not knowing any better.

* No parent can teach a child everything at once, but a parents job is to teach their child principles as they grow. What some parents don't realize is as their children are learning, they are learning as well-how to be good-if not great parents! Although at times I find myself sounding like a robot, I teach my sons right from wrong, mannerism, respect for themselves, their elders, their peers and others; how to behave in school and other public places. I teach them how not to imitate what they see or repeat what they hear because I am their leader.

* When it comes to privileges and luxuries they desire-it is not just given-it is earned. Each have given chores and are forced to be committed to responsibility. Everyday their chores and homework has to be done before watching television, listening to the radio, playing the video game or any other recreational activities. Even on weekends, non school days and in the summer they have assigned homework from me.

* I am very consistent with teaching them the value of life. I give them pep talks on the important aspects of life on a constant basis.

As a single parent it is my job to guide my sons in the direction of what it takes to be a man because I am not a man. However, I do teach them that it is not a woman's job to wait on hand and foot for them so it is important for them to establish some independency and stability for themselves. When I was coming up each elder of mine with children raised their children differently, including my mother. Most of us were raised without fathers in the home. I didn't want my sons to experience what myself and my cousins experienced, so I went a different route, and came up with a method that worked for me-it's been working every since.

Written by Tamara M. Anderson on June 30, 2012